• terry-lynn hemmerling

Love Over Fear

Updated: Aug 15, 2019

"In every situation one choice moves us toward what we want, the other takes us away from what we want." ~ Anonymous

The quote above holds a deep and deceptively simple truth. And the three word title becomes a powerful mantra to help me live deliberately. My mind wants to make life harder than it ever needs to be. Fear - "false evidence appearing real" is based on past experiences, thoughts, beliefs. It is not based on the present moment. It is my ego working overtime to keep me safe and away from any risk. BUT if I want to create a deliberate life I need to remain open to new experiences. To take some risks. If I don't want to wind up where I have already been, I cannot do what I have already done. The unknown is risky. The mind goes crazy with the "what-ifs..." My daily practice is to write them out in plain sight in my journal. I take them right out of hiding and focus my attention on them. And then I ask myself, what if the opposite of this fear could also be true? So, I write out the (equally possible) opposite of my fear - which is a loving outcome - and then I deliberately choose to give that thought space in my head, in my heart... If I am going to think something, might as well be a loving thought...

My fears have been my closest advisors for decades and they have often been granted complete freedom to run unchecked. And now I know. I am aware. Enough. I have fired them and let them know their services are no longer necessary. I recognize that I will have to do this over and over and over again - multiple times daily - for the rest of my ever-loving life and that is okay. My goal is to know when it is fear talking and taking over my thoughts, emotions, words and actions and then to deliberately choose love. This is a practice.

The practice begins with awareness. "Oh hello fear - thank you for trying to protect me, keep me safe, small, within the familiar even if the familiar is causing great harm. I've got this now. I am choosing love even if I don't know how it will turn out." And that is my intention. To live my life deliberately and freely, I choose to ask myself is this a fearful choice or a loving choice? And then to have the courage to choose love over fear every single time...  

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